Sunday, August 7, 2011

Non Verbal Pre-Attack Indicators



For those of you that follow me, you know that I believe there are primarily 3 main reasons women get assaulted.  And they are, body language, lack of awareness and being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Today, I would like to talk more about awareness and consider some of the warning signs of possible attack.  I call these NON VERBAL ATTACK INDICATORS.

Remember, in most instances, your assailant is looking for an easy target and more often than not, the bad guy will take his time to watch and assess his selection.  There are some assailants that have been known to have studied their victims over a considerable length of time.  When I do my self defense workshops, I will often refer to this as "window shopping".    The attacker is trying to decide which women to attack, so he is window shopping for the one he thinks is going to be the weakest and put up the least amount of resistence.  Remember, assault is meant to be quick.....and if the plan is to abduct you, the attacker wants to get you from point A to point B as quietly and quickly as possible.

Non Verbal Attack Indicators

What do I mean by non verbal attack indicators?

I am looking for unspoken signs that may indicate that I am possibly being targeted for assault.  To the trained and experienced eye, they are quite noticeable, however, to the common person who is hardly paying attention in the first place, you may not recognize them.

What kind of signs?

Consider some of the following indicators:

Unnatural impediment to your movement - This could be a car or wall that you are positioned against that inhibits escape or prevents you from seeking help.  This also could be a room with a blocked exit or even a building with locked doors.  Assailants try to position you against an immoveable object to help keep you in place and which helps prevent escape.

Correlation of someone's movement to your own - As you wander through the local mall, you have spotted the same person at the mall entrance, 3 stores down, and now, just a few isles away.  To me, this is stalking and you need to be aware for your safety.  In the last few highly documented cases of child abduction, the store video camera showed the kidnappers stalking the child in different parts of the store and parking lot before abducting the children.

Any sudden change in a person's status as you get near or pass - This could be moving hands out of pockets, bringing the hands out from under a coat, or a sudden change in alertness, sitting more upright, etc.  As the assailant prepares to strike, there usually is a greater sense of intensity.  Look for a physical change in the demeanor of that stranger that's on the side walk approaching you.

Predatory movement -- This could most noticibly be circling positioning.  This can happen on foot or in a car.  You see someone at the entrance to the cafeteria, suddenly, they are a few tables down from you when you eat, only to be just in front or behind you as you exit the cafe.  Anytime you feel like you are being followed, follow your gut instincts and seek safety immediately.

Target glancing – You see someone you are not sure about and every time you look at them, they turn their eyes away or glance down....almost as if on que when you look.  It may be coincidental, but it also could mean they don't want you to see their intention, nor do they want you to recognize them.

Persons closing on you from oblique angles to meet your path - I sometimes refer to this as an angle of attack.  You are walking in a parking lot and you see somone in the distance, but it appears that they are walking away from you.  Only as you get closer to your car, you realize the path you are walking is actually going to intersect with the stranger.  The angle makes it appear that you are safe, becasuse no one is directly approaching you, but eventually, the attacker will encounter you unless you change your direction.

A hand hidden from view - This mignt mean nothing, or be indicative of a hidden weapon, piece of rope, etc.  If your in a position where you feel vulnerable, you want to be sure to see the hands of someone approaching or walking near you.

Bumps, shoves, pushes, or grabs - What appears to be just an accidental bump or push, could actually be a test? A test to see what kind of reaction you give.  Did you notice?  Did your body language change?  Did you say something?  These are all signs that the assailant could be testing you to better understand your resovle if you were attacked and/or abducted.  Of course, in a crowded bar or in the stands during a USC game is different from walking into someone on the elevator.  Keep perspective at all times.

Relative absence of other people or authorities - Goes without saying.  The assailant does not want to be seen or heard when he strikes, so often times they will wait until no one is around.  This is a time when you need to be more alert.

A vehicle stopping along side you slightly to the front or rear - If you feel like you are being followed by a car, you should drive directly to the police station or a public area where you can seek help.  If you are broken down on the side of the rode, keep your windows locked and call for help and wait for help to arrive.  Letting a complete stranger help you on the side of the road is very dangerous.

Any second pass of a vehicle - This goes back to the stalking concept.  If you see the same person or car in mulitiple locations, time to worry.  Seek help immediately.

Any intoxicated person - A potential risk for a couple of reasons.  One, if they are under the influence, they may not realize what they are doing.  Two, they may pretend to be intoxicated only to let your guard down and be fooled.  Three, someone under the influence generally has a much higher pain threshhold, which might make it more difficult to defend yourself.  The best self defense is to avoid the frat parties or the 5 points date, where you no alchohol is going to be present.

Overly enthusiastic offering of help - It's like the stranger that offers a small child a bunch of candy.  Beware, you might be assisted by someone who generally wants to help you, but it also could be someone who wants you to think he is your friend and let your guard down and strike when you are not ready.

Obvious attempts at 'baiting' you - Often this technique is used when emotions are hot and anger is uncontrolled.  This is used commonly during a domestic violence dispute.  Control the urge -- walk away and seek help.

A parked car or van, next to your car in a deserted parking lot - An immediate warning sign, especially if there are plenty of prime parking spots located up close to the building you want to enter.  This one is generally easy to see, so stay alert.

An isolated location, where the attacker would not likely be seen, heard or recognized - This could be a parking garage, a mall parking lot, say during the holidays where you are forced to park on the fringe of the mall lot or in a parking garage.  This could probably be 1,000 different locations on campus.  

Again, think of the time of day, relative danger and stay alert.  Ask for assistance from the campus police if you are unsure or afraid.



These are just some of the top indicators that come to mind, but realistically, there are probably hundreds that could be called out and identified.  For me, the most important thing you can do is try to AVOID dangerous situations where you are more at risk, i.e. walking around campus in the dark, hanging out in 5 points after hours, etc, and ALWAYS try and remain hyper alert.  Just like the United States has a terriost alert status, so should you have one for your own personal safety.

Stay alert and be aware!

And you will have a better chance of spotting a non verbal attack indicator, that hopefully will be enough to thwart the would be attacker to go elsewhere.  

Sensei Chris Feldt
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425
   

Domestic Violence Statistics

People ask me all the time, why do I talk about domestic violence as part of my self defense workshops or classes?

It's simple really!

Because South Carolina ranks 6th in the nation in domestic violence and is currently 10th on the list for domestic violence murders!

While I love South Carolina, the cold hard truth is women in this state are more likely to be attacked by someone they know, then a complete stranger.

As such, here are some statistics that I pulled a couple of years ago, that haven't changed much since then:

Domestic Violence Statistics

Sex of Victim
Male 24.0%
Female 76.0%

Relationships
Ex-spouse 2.5%
Family 31.5%
Romantic 28.3%
Marital 37.7%

Substance Use
Alcohol 23.6%
Drugs .7%
Drugs & alcohol 1.2%
No substance 74.5%

Offenses
Homicide .2%
Sexual violence 2.6%
Robbery .3%
Aggravated assault 21.1%
Simple assault 65.4%


Weapons

Blunt objects 18.8%
Firearms 12.2%
Knives 20.0%
Motor vehicles 3.2%
Other 5.7%

Victims Age
<4 1.1%
5-9 1.6%
10-14 3.4%
15-17 4.9%
18-24 22.4%
25-34 31.5%
35-44 22.5%
45-54 8.3%
55-64 2.8%
>65 1.5%

Injuries

Broken bones 1.0%
Death .5%
Internal injuries .9%
Knocked unconscious .3%
Loss of teeth .3%
Major injury 5.2%
Minor injury 83.4%
Severe laceration 8.5%

Location
Bar/Nightclub .9%
Commercial/office 2.4%
Convenience store .6%
Educational institution .4%
Highway/roads 5.6%
Hotel/motel 1.1%
Other 1.8%
Parking lot 1.1%
Private residence 86.1%

Day of the Week

Sunday 17.0%
Monday 12.7%
Tuesday 12.7%
Wednesday 12.2%
Thursday 12.5%
Friday 14.0%
Saturday 18.9%

Factors Contributing to Domestic Violence

Unfortunately, there is no one single factor that explains why men and women assault or abuse their spouses. Based on my research, there is a general consensus that you will find one or many of the traits listed below of abusers:

  • Relative young age 18-30 years old (lack of maturity)
  • Low income
  • Growing up in a violent or abusive family
  • Alcohol or substance abuse
  • Unemployment
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Low job satisfaction
  • Problem with anger management
  • Most offenders tend to have an anti-social personality
  • Impaired ability to feel guilt, remorse or anxiety

If you, or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please seek help from either me, one of your other professors, your family, your church or a local domestic organization like Sister Care, which does tremendous work in the Columbia area.

If you would like additional resources, please visit on online resource website that has lots of information on it about domestic violence, including a resources tab at Everything Self Defense.

 

Sensei Chris Feldt

Samurai karate Studio

Columbia, SC 29229

803-462-9425

3 Reasons Why Women Get Assaulted

As part of my beginner karate class at USC, I take 5-10 minute of every class and share topics that are related to assault that I want my students to understand.

There are many reasons why women get assaulted, however, most studies show that a woman gets targeted for assault for 3 MAIN reasons.  You might be surprised with the answers.  No, it doesn't have to do with how HOT the women looks or how SEXY she might be dressed.

AND yes, nearly 25% of all assault is female on man, so these rules apply to both sexes.


Reason # 1


Research shows the number one reason women get assaulted is due to poor body language.  In other words, how you walk, how you carry yourself when you are out in public is a large factor in determining if you get targeted.

Do you recognize yourself in this description?

Do you walk with your head down, your shoulders slumped, your chest in?  Do you generally keep your hands in your pockets? Do you walk with purpose or just shuffle along at a slow pace?  Do you make any eye contact?

Some people are under the impression, if they appear small, no one will notice them.  Well, they are wrong and potentially inviting trouble!

Attackers are looking for people they believe will give them little or no resistance.  The attacker wants to get in quickly, strike and take his victim to a secondary location without being seen or heard.  They are looking for someone who appears to be weak, afraid or timid.  Attackers are basically cowards and they don't want to attack anyone that they can't control easily!  So, if you look like you might put up a fight, there is a good chance the attacker will pass on you.

Why do you think the elderly get attacked so often?  Because a 90 year old is not expected to put up much of a fight if confronted!  It's a miracle that they can even walk, right?

So, I want YOU to start today, changing how you walk!  I want you to walk with a purposeful stride, like you know where you are going and what you want.  I want you to walk with your head up, shoulders back and chest pumped out!  You are walking with some "attitude" and your body language is communicating CONFIDENCE!  You want to allow your arms to swing with each stride, as psychologically, this makes you appear to be larger than you really are.  Plus, having your arms free allows you to react quicker if attacked.

Yes, I want you to make EYE CONTACT! The kind that says "I know you are there and I am making sure you know I know....and by the way, I am not afraid of you" kind of eye contact.

Need more convincing?  Just take a look around you and watch people walking in the grocery store or in the parking lot.  I am pretty certain you will be able to spot the people who are confident and portray a very strong body language and the ones who don't.

One last note about body language.  One of the most important aspects of walking with a strong body image is having your head up.  This gives your eyes the ability to remain vigilant, constantly looking for potential danger.

Reason # 2

The second most common reason women get assaulted is lack of awareness.

Are you the type that turns their back to the crowd when answering your cell phone?  I know you are trying to be polite and make the conversation quiet and private, however, you are creating a perfect opportunity to strike.

Are you someone who likes to carry a big pocket book?  I remember my mother carried this huge bag around that I could get lost in when I was a young child.  Trying to find the car keys sometimes took days!

Well, I might be exaggerating, but you get my point.  When you become focused on a singular task, that is the time that attackers like to strike.

How about sitting in your car texting or maybe updating your check book since you were shopping and purchased some items?  Another big NO, NO!

Walking into the rest room without checking to see if anyone was following you?  Looking for something in the trunk of your car?  Running the neighborhood with your Ipod at full blast and your earphones on both ears?

We live in a society filled with so many distractions every day, however, we MUST do all we can to be alert and aware when we are out somewhere and potentially vulnerable!

Reason # 3

Being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

We can't always control this, but we need to be aware and try to avoid places that could potentially be dangerous.  For example, the roof of the parking garage at the mall late at night, say during the Christmas holidays, when the stores stay open late.  Conversely, parking in the basement of a downtown parking garage.  Parking far away from the football stadium in a poorly lit parking lot.  Leaving your place of work by yourself late at night.

If you live in a city, walking down a dark alley!

Hopefully you get the picture.

I feel like you can't always prevent this, because sometimes there are circumstances beyond your control (getting a flat tire on a country road or highway); however, be mindful of potential areas that you would be vulnerable in and avoid them to the best of your ability.  Try to leave work with a friend or make arrangements to have someone pick you up.  Be patient and search for another parking spot that isn't so far away or in an area that has better security.  Don't try to change that car tire.  Call a family member or friend for help.

The Big Three

Attackers pick their victims for lots of reasons and there is NO way to predict with 100% accuracy how to avoid an attack.  However, research has shown the above reasons to be the 3 most consistent reasons given  by attackers that were caught.

If you work on creating a confident and strong body language, maintain a high alert level at all times and  avoid areas that could represent trouble for you, then you will go a long way towards helping yourself stay safe!

Sensei Chris Feldt

2000 Clemson Road

Suite # 9

Columbia, SC 29229

803-462-9425

samuraikarate@bellsouth.net


Habit Versus Fear - Home Invasion


This is a guest post, from Anne Jacoby, an expert in personal safety and a domestic violence survivor....                                                                                                                                                                                                              

At ten o’clock that night, Lindsay had checked that her doors were locked, as usual, before shutting the lights off and going to bed. She assumed she was safe within the protection of her apartment walls. A typical night coupled with a typical attitude. At four o’clock in the morning, Lindsay’s night drastically changed. Her worst fear had crept out of her nightmares and forced its way into her bedroom.


“Don’t make a sound or I’ll kill you…just do exactly what I say” — a ruthless command and a lethal threat on an innocent human being.  This was not a practical joke carried out by a friend.  It was real and it was happening to Lindsay — a tall, think, ultra-feminine woman who had always thought with confidence, “It (rape) won’t happen to me.” But there he was and there she was.


While Lindsay slept a man had broken into her locked apartment and moved silently into her bedroom.  He woke her from a peaceful sleep with the forceful words, “Don’t make a sound, don’t move.”  That statement would repeat over and over in her mind for years to come.
As this angry man, a man that she had never seen before in her life — stood over her in her bedroom; made one last reminder for her not to do anything.  Lindsay’s mind raced back to her self-defense workshop that she had taken, she was reminded of the emphasis placed on fighting back in order to surprise the attacker.

  • Don’t think of anything other than survival.
  • Look for your window of opportunity – it may be as little as five seconds – when he is vulnerable and to use it to your advantage.
  • Fight back.



And that is what she did.  She knew she needed to remain calm, assess the best time for defense, and strike.


Lindsay did just that.  As she watched his body fly across the room, Lindsay was amazed to see the shock on his face.  He was caught physically and mentally off-guard by her blow that she landed him in the chest with both of her feet, using all the force she could gather.  Lindsay had enough time to escape.  As she ran out of her apartment to get help, he ran too…not after her, but away from her.


Lindsay experienced a life-threatening situation.  It is our responsibility to ensure our own safety.  You may be wondering why Lindsay didn’t hear her intruder as there were no noises of a break-in; the man had a key from the previous tenant who lived in the apartment….previous to Lindsay. 


The landlord never changed the locks when Lindsay moved in!


Personal safety is a habit not a fear. I’ve had students tell me that their family members think that they are scared or paranoid because they lock doors even when they are home; when they go out to walk the dog and in their car.  I’ve heard many parents say that having your children’s carton images with their age and name on your vehicle window was not dangerous.  All of us in the personal safety arena agree, IT IS DANGEROUS! Ask any pedophile who wants an easy target.


The fact is, paranoia will freeze you with fear and fear is the most dangerous mindset of all.

  • Trust your gut feelings, your instincts, intuition
  • Be aware of your surroundings
  • Establish and enforce your personal boundaries
  • Exhibit confident body language
  • Incorporate safety tips into your daily routine and life



The benefits of personal safety impact your entire life in a positive manner.  “An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.”—-Benjamin Franklin


The people who tell you or call you paranoid for being aware and safe are O-B-L-I-V-I-O-U-S!
The impact of being oblivious and not facing the fact that all type of crimes and assaults are happening on a daily basis is an individual with blinders on.  Electing not be educated or taught how to be safe is just downright ludacris.




ob·liv·i·ous = unmindful; unconscious; unaware


Synonym – absent-minded (so lost in thought that one does not realize what one is doing, what is happening, etc.; preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one’s immediate surroundings)

There is nothing wrong with being the brightest light bulb in the room!

What do you think?

About Anny
Anny is a Survivor of Domestic Violence with many years as a Certified Advocate. She firmly believes that EVERY female has the absolute right to protect and defend herself mentally, emotionally, spiritually and ultimately physically.

Anny received her PDR (Personal Defense Readiness) Instructor Certification in 2008. Anny is also a Steward's of Children Authorized Facilitator and Prevention Specialist who trains adults to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to child sexual abuse through Darkness to Light's certification programs.

www.annyjacoby.com

www.realisticfemaleselfdefense.com

www.projectsafegirls.com

anny@annyjacoby.com





Sensei Chris Feldt

Samurai karate Studio

Columbia, SC 29229